But Wait a Moment
Posted: Tuesday, July 03, 2007
by AC Bonds
http://www.becominggenuinedaily.net
"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."
--Thomas Szasz
"I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice."
--Abraham Lincoln
Apologies have been muttered numerous times over the past year: Mel Gibson, for his callous remarks against the Jewish community; Don Imus, for insulting the lady Rutgers basketball team; Michael Richards, for lambasting hecklers during a comedy show. Each have issued statements and apologized publicly for his transgression. And although a handful may continue to bear a grudge, the majority of the public has moved on. Unfortunately, forgiveness is not this simple. Human relationships are complex and forged through reciprocation, a give-and-take dynamic. In other words, men and women give with the expectation of return. Benevolence falls by the wayside as an egocentric character emerges.
Forgiveness is a vexing practice. And like apologies, they can be half-hearted, a hollow expression of sincerity. Forgiveness of this kind facilitates bitterness, a state of mind unwilling to release the injuries of another. In turn, the soul is darkened and the wronged live in distrust of others authentic acts of generosity. The antithesis of forgiveness is complete reconciliation. Paradoxically, the wronged still live with the memory of the perpetrator's action. In time, it may slip from memory. But subtle signals quickly bring its return--a song, a book, a film, a smell, a dream, the offender. Feelings of anger, betrayal, depression, and shock return as well. The wrong has been forgiven, but the memory continues to live on.
A good friend captures this moment retelling a story. He walked across the stage with a backpack full of rocks and commented on a story many know well. In this story Jesus tells, a woman is brought before him, a woman who committed adultery moments ago. Films about Jesus with this scene portray the woman fully clothed. But I have pondered whether her accusers brought her before Jesus without dress. While this thought may seem irrelevant, suppose she was brought through the city for all to see. The people recognize her face and begin to make comments to one another, shocked at her lack of restraint. Dropped before Jesus, her head hangs as tears trickle down her cheeks. She is ashamed, dishonored by the community. The Torah states that those caught in adultery must be put to death. The teachers of this law stand behind the woman, rocks in hand, eager to stone her. Through research and conversations with others, I have discovered stoning is accomplished by placing the condemned in a large hole and dropping sizable boulders. Jesus begins writing in the hand, perhaps the shortcomings of the accusers, stating, "If you have never broken the law you ascribe to, throw your rocks." The teachers begin to drop their rocks and walk away. He helps the woman up and forgives her offense.
Society is defined by judgment. Humans compare themselves to one another, continually pointing out differences, sizing others up in microseconds by automobiles, clothing, and wallets. But behind this comparison is judgment. Every one is quick to point out the mistake of another, unaware a backpack of "rocks" is strapped to the shoulder, ammunition waiting to be unloaded. But God invites the willing to drop their stones. James, a brother of Jesus, poignantly captures this thought as he writes, "Judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful." Mercy is a shocking response to the offender and attempting to understand the kindness beneath it through logic is a futile exercise. Consider God's perception of humanity. There are many who believe him to be wholly good and fully knowledgeable of all human activity. Accordingly, he is aware of all evil actions, all virtuous actions. And his bag of rocks is sizable; in fact, this bag contains many stones each denoting acts of ugliness--all for one person.
Every person has inscribed rocks in God's knapsack. But unlike man, he is unique, distinct, special. Completely aware of the faults of all men and women, he chooses not to cast his rocks. Perhaps this is the clearest portrait of mercy. He is justified turning his back on humanity, but is unwilling to do so. Personally, I may spend the rest of my life trying to understand this decision, this dynamic, this love. It is a decision that defies reason in every way. From time to time, I hear this statement concerning truth: "Accept it and move on." I have processed mercy mentally and know its definition, its origin, its synonyms. But understanding this precept spiritually comes through receiving it and showing it.
I have discovered the story of Israel, the story of man, the story of life, hinges on one word: "but." This three letter word is indicative of change, always the representation of a turning point, for better or worse. St. Paul writes, "But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive..." In third grade, I was introduced to "Schoolhouse Rock!" for the first time. This series of short educational films featured memorable songs on grammar, the Presidents, science, history and math. Incidentally, the only film I can recall discusses grammar and poses this question repeatedly through song: "Conjunction Junction, what's your function?" The film reveals this answer: "Hooking up words and phrases and clauses." As I reflect further on this three letter word previously mentioned, the question arises again: "Conjunction Junction, what's your function?" Forgiveness.
Austin Bonds is the author of Genuine Existence and creator of BECOMING GENUINE DAILY. For more information, visit www.becominggenuinedaily.net
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)I think one of the hardest of all things in being a true Christian is learning to forgive--especially when the victims are the very young or helpless. Very good and insightful article, Austin.
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